Spare
by diva.gonzo
Summary: One-shot. Complete. Hermione is at Hogwarts and Ron and Harry aren't. She's missing him something horribly.


**A/N:** Originally published for the Seven Deadly Sins fest at Sinfully-Romione at Tumble on and on. _-DG_

* * *

Hermione took a deep breath and tried to let it go. It didn't work. Breathing hurt too much. Sitting in the classroom with the other NEWT students hurt too much. Listening to the sweet Ravenclaw sixth year she knew from Ginny shredded every single nerve she had. The prattle and nattering on were nails on chalkboard.

Hermione looked up from the parchment in front of her and saw Professor Flitwick was oblivious to everything else going on while one of his students' info dumped about charms she learned two years prior.

"What are you doing?" Ginny hissed at her from the seat next to her. "Why aren't you taking notes?"

Hermione stole another glance at Flitwick and leaned in close to Ginny, whispering "I learned this particular charm three years ago. I used it for an entire year."

"Shit."

She glanced up and saw them still conversing in class. Hermione tuned them out. "I'm bored. I regret coming back."

"Don't say that."

Hermione sat up in her chair with one glance from Flitwick, imitating like she was taking some notes but doodling rubbish and Ron's name in various runes in front of her. "I should have not returned," she said and started writing Ron another letter, the third one to him today and the seventh this week.

And to think, it was only September fourth.

 _Ron,_

 _Returning here was a huge mistake. So far, the only thing I've learned is that the stairwells will do what you ask of them now. That's it. Slughorn is a bore and has demonstrating nothing I can't brew in my sleep or didn't make my second year. The tests that Professor Sinestra has given us so far read like a primary reader, given to toddlers learning their ABC's. And while I adore Professor McGonagall, absolutely everything she has taught in class or assigned as revision from three years ago. Three years!_

 _I ache. Dear God I ache for you. I've not slept proper since I left your side. I can't sleep, not when you're not snoring in my ear or squeezing me to your chest in the middle of the night, or even when you have a leg over from behind first thing in the morning. I never thought I would be one of the silly girls who needed their man but this summer taught me that I am one, even if she only comes out with you around._

 _Why did I think that returning here to finish my formal education was necessary? Instead, I'm away from you, and Harry, and miss both you horribly. I'm afraid I made a terrible choice in not going to work but returning here, afraid to start with both of you to change the world for a better place. My hubris and narcissist pride made me still think formal education the end-all, be-all of necessity in my life when it's the opposite, that I need you more than grades and education accolades._

 _I will give it until the end of the week to learn something that is new. If not, then I will humbly ask McGonagall to allow me to withdraw, schedule my NEWTS for December and then go to work at the Ministry. The excruciating pace of the information in these classes tests every last bit of patience I have. I will go spare before Halloween if I have to suffer any further._

 _Every minute of every day that isn't Halloween is so long. Halloween cannot get her soon enough. I think I might die of ennui if I can't have you between my legs before then, saying my name as you make me scream in bliss. Nothing slakes my ache for you. I know. I've tried. Yes, it's only the fourth._

 _I need you more than food. Everything I eat tastes like ashes, knowing you're so far away. The elves try their best but nothing satisfies me like you pressing your body into mine, crumpling the bedsheets and driving my heart aflutter. Nothing quenches my thirst like seeing you standing before me, next to our bed, your manhood begging for my attention and then your guttural curses as I offer oral pleasure to your body. I would give McGonagall all my remaining galleons to have you in my bed tonight, fucking me senseless until I passed out in overload._

 _I don't think she'd take to well to bribery for sexual reasons, even if it is for a Hero of Hogwarts, if you believe the papers._

 _I need you. I miss you. I crave you. It's not even sex, and yet it is. It's that closeness we have, when you're spilling into me, saying the most wretched things in my ear when you're having your way with me. It's the smile on your face when you open your eyes after making love to me. It's how your body reacts to mine, especially when you're on your back and holding onto me. Christ, I miss you so much that it hurts to breathe._

 _I don't know if I can wait so long to see you. Not that I will, but I'm tempted to pull a Harry and escape through McGonagall's fireplace to home, just so I can hold you for a night, so I can sleep without the nightmares and with you snoring in my ear._

 _Fuck, I miss you so much!_

 _Love,_

 _Hermione_

Hermione lifted her head and heard the assignment from Flitwick – another two feet of parchment on the usefulness of sensory charms in the household – and she sighed. "Today was a waste," she said to herself and Ginny elbowed her.

"No it wasn't. You were too busy daydreaming about my tosspot of a brother."

"Why am I sitting in this classroom when there is nothing to teach me?" She gathered up her books and parchment. "I could be sitting in a cubicle at the Ministry – "

"And bored to tears with that job too, except you might come home to get shagged by my troll of a brother rather than hearing me snore at night."

Hermione finished packing her bag. "You certainly don't miss Harry like I miss Ron."

"That's the thing," Ginny offered Hermione some commiseration. "You were me last year. I coped as best as I could. That's how I know you can too."

"But – "

"Yes, it was different, but yet it's not. It was a year without him, without knowing if he was alive, safe, or what. It was a year not knowing my brother was alive, or whether you were killed. But I coped as best as I could. It sucked so much, having that ache in my soul every single day I hadn't heard a thing about you, at least until Fred and George said in a letter, in between the lines, saying if they hadn't mentioned you, then it means you were still alive and free.

"That bit of wisdom, from those sods, kept me buoyed more than any bit of gossip I heard, kept me going when I wanted to kill everyone. So you can suck it up too."

"That's not what I want to suck," Hermione said under her breath.

Ginny stopped and turned to look at her normally reserved and demure friend. "Fuck, did you just say that where I could hear it? Merlin, you are gagging for him."

"Well, yeah. I've barely slept since we got here. Your snoring isn't the same."

"And I notice you've barely taken notes in any of our classes this week?" They departed the charms classroom and dodged in the halls towards Transfiguration. First years buffeted them along with older students, and even the Slytherin students weren't too gentle passing them in the halls.

"Why? All of it is revision from three years ago. I've learned nothing this week. I thought there was more to learn but I might be wrong."

"So give it a week? I'm sure there will be new material today, at least with McGonagall."

"Oh I do hope so. I've been utterly bored this week. I could probably sleep through all of my classes for a fortnight and not miss a thing."

"So that's why you've been writing love letters to Ron constantly."

"It would be rude to fall asleep in the classes."

"You're not joking, are you?"

"I'm waiting on Ron to tell me it's OK for me to leave school, take my NEWTS early, and get on with my life. I never thought I'd be bored in school and with classes."

"It's only been three days, Hermione."

"And I'm wasting my time-"

"No, you're not. I'm sure there's plenty to learn while you're here."

Hermione looked around and saw a particular alcove where they could talk privately. She pulled Ginny into it and hunkered down, for some reason. "I know you don't get it but while I was out there with the boys, while petrified with fear and praying we'd find the answers when there were none for a while, I had so much time on my hands that I read to relieve the boredom. Ron was right in that I did take a mobile library with me and I spent countless hours reading. Some of it was additional knowledge, to protect us, and some was to keep my brain distracted from the all-consuming fear that we would perish any second, or Ron would – " Hermione stopped.

"What?"

"I spent plenty of hours sitting at his bedside, reading my textbooks, when he was splinched. Sometimes I read to him, and sometimes I just read."

"Splinched?"

"He was, when we were escaping the Ministry and Yaxley grabbed onto me. I lost my focus and it nearly cost Ron his life."

"Shit."

"I learned that everything can go sideways in an instant. He nearly died from the splinching and the potion didn't heal everything. It healed it up, somewhat, but he still has a nasty scar on his arm."

"So why the hell do you want to go home when he's going into the Aurors shortly? He won't be home much, if you take what Harry went through this summer. So why be there?"

"Don't you get it? If anyone should understand, you would. Anything can happen and I can't survive it if I'm not there to know about it."

"Calm down, Hermione. Nothing is going to happen if you're not there. You need to be here."

"I need to be with him, sleeping by him – "

"You mean shagging his brains out."

"Well, that too."

"Calm the fuck down, would you? You're going to see him in six weeks and probably have something from him on your birthday. Now, this is going to sound hypocritical of me, but you need to learn how to be Hermione, not RonandHermione."

"But I am – "

"You're going spare being away from him already. It's been three bloody days. Calm your tits, take a breath, and go rub one out if you miss his cock that much."

"Ginny!" Hermione stared around and saw that no one had paid them any mind. "I'd never – "

"Fine then; stay barmy. But get your arse to McGonagall's classroom in five. Just because you're bored to fucking tears doesn't mean she will take too kindly to you missing her class for any good reason."

"Does my missing Ron count as a good reason?" Hermione yelled over the dwindling student population and received a crass gesture from Ginny in response.

"I hate when she's right," Hermione took off for the transfiguration classroom and deciding that Ron needed a fourth letter today, potentially one to make his ears burn.


End file.
